dots-menu
×

Home  »  Modern American Poetry  »  Strictly Germ-proof

Louis Untermeyer, ed. (1885–1977). Modern American Poetry. 1919.

Arthur Guiterman1871–1943

Strictly Germ-proof

THE ANTISEPTIC BABY and the Prophylactic Pup

Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up;

They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised;—

It wasn’t Disinfected and it wasn’t Sterilized.

They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disease;

They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;

They froze it in a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope

And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.

In sulphurated hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;

They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;

They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand

And elected it a member of the Fumigated Band.

There’s not a Micrococcus in the garden where they play;

They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;

And each imbibes his rations from a Hygienic Cup—

The Bunny and the Baby and the Prophylactic Pup.