The Modern Belle

SHE sits in a fashionable parlor,

And rocks in her easy chair;

She is clad in silks and satins,

And jewels are in her hair;

She winks and giggles and simpers,

And simpers and giggles and winks;

And though she talks but little,

’T is a good deal more than she thinks.

She lies abed in the morning

Till nearly the hour of noon,

Then comes down snapping and snarling

Because she was called so soon;

Her hair is still in papers,

Her cheeks still fresh with paint,—

Remains of her last night’s blushes,

Before she intended to faint.

She dotes upon men unshaven,

And men with “flowing hair”;

She’s eloquent over mustaches,

They give such a foreign air.

She talks of Italian music,

And falls in love with the moon;

And, if a mouse were to meet her,

She would sink away in a swoon.

Her feet are so very little,

Her hands are so very white,

Her jewels so very heavy,

And her head so very light;

Her color is made of cosmetics

(Though this she will never own),

Her body is mostly of cotton,

Her heart is wholly of stone.

She falls in love with a fellow

Who swells with a foreign air;

He marries her for her money,

She marries him for his hair!

One of the very best matches,—

Both are well-mated in life;

She’s got a fool for a husband,

He’s got a fool for a wife!