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Home  »  Poetry: A Magazine of Verse  »  Louis Untermeyer

Harriet Monroe, ed. (1860–1936). The New Poetry: An Anthology. 1917.

Monologue from a Mattress

Louis Untermeyer

Heinrich Heine, aetat 56, loquitur:

CAN that be you, La Mouche? Wait till I lift

This palsied eyelid and make sure…. Ah, true.

Come in, dear fly, and pardon my delay

In thus existing; I can promise you

Next time you come you’ll find no dying poet!

Without sufficient spleen to see me through,

The joke becomes too tedious a jest.

I am afraid my mind is dull today;

I have that—something—heavier on my chest,

And then, you see, I’ve been exchanging thoughts

With Doctor Franz. He talked of Kant and Hegel

As though he’d nursed them both through whooping-cough;

And, as he left, he let his finger shake

Too playfully, as though to say, “Now off

With that long face—you’ve years and years to live.”

I think he thinks so. But, for Heaven’s sake,

Don’t credit it—and never tell Mathilde.

Poor dear, she has enough to bear already …

This was a month! During my lonely weeks

One person actually climbed the stairs

To seek a cripple. It was Berlioz—

But Berlioz always was original.

Come here, my lotus-flower. It is best

I drop the mask today; the half-cracked shield

Of mockery calls for younger hands to wield.

Laugh—or I’ll hug it closer to my breast!

So … I can be as mawkish as I choose

And give my thoughts an airing, let them loose

For one last rambling stroll before—Now look!

Why tears?—you never heard me say “the end”.

Before … before I clap them in a book

And so get rid of them once and for all.

This is their holiday—we’ll let them run—

Some have escaped already. There goes one …

What, I have often mused, did Goethe mean?

So many years ago, at Weimar, Goethe said,

“Heine has all the poet’s gifts but love.”

Good God!—but that is all I ever had.

More than enough!—so much of love to give

That no one gave me any in return.

And so I flashed and snapped in my own fires

Until I stood, with nothing left to burn,

A twisted trunk, in chilly isolation.

Ein Fichtenbaum steht einsam—you recall?

I was that northern tree and, in the South,

Amalia…. So I turned to scornful cries,

Hot iron songs to save the rest of me:

Plunging the brand in my own misery,

Crouching behind my pointed wall of words—

Ramparts I built of moons and loreleys,

Enchanted roses, sphinxes, love-sick birds,

Giants, dead lads who left their graves to dance,

Fairies and phoenixes and friendly gods—

A curious frieze, half renaissance, half Greek,

Behind which, in revulsion from romance,

I lay and laughed—and wept—till I was weak.

Words were my shelter, words my one escape,

Words were my weapons against everything.

Was I not once the son of Revolution?—

Give me the lyre, I said, and let me sing

My song of battle: words like flaming stars

Shot down with power to burn the palaces;

Words like bright javelins to fly with fierce

Hate of the oily philistines, and glide

Through all the seven heavens till they pierce

The pious hypocrites who dare to creep

Into the Holy Places. “Then,” I cried,

“I am a fire to rend and roar and leap;

I am all joy and song, all sword and flame!”

H’m—you observe me passionate. I aim

To curb these wild emotions lest they soar

Or drive against my will. (So I have said

These many years—and still they are not tame.)

Scraps of a song keep rumbling in my head …

Listen—you never heard me sing before.

When a false world betrays your trust

And stamps upon your fire,

When what seemed blood is only rust,

Take up the lyre!

How quickly the heroic mood

Responds to its own ringing;

The scornful heart, the angry blood

Leap upward, singing!

Ah, that was how it used to be. But now,

Du schoner Todesengel, it is odd

How more than calm I am. Franz said he knew

It was religion, and it is, perhaps;

Religion—or morphine—or poultices—God knows.

I sometimes have a sentimental lapse

And long for saviors and a physical God.

When health is all used up, when money goes,

When courage cracks and leaves a shattered will,

Christianity begins. For a sick Jew

It is a very good religion…. Still

I fear that I shall die as I have lived,

A long-nosed heathen playing with his scars;

A pagan killed by Weltschmerz…. I remember,

Once when I stood with Hegel at a window,

I, being full of bubbling youth and coffee,

Spoke in symbolic tropes about the stars.

Something I said about “those high

Abodes of the blest” provoked his temper.

“Abodes? the stars?”—he froze me with a sneer;

“A light eruption on the firmament.”

“But,” cried romantic I, “is there no sphere

Where virtue is rewarded when we die?”

And Hegel mocked: “A very pleasant whim—

So you demand a bonus since you spent

One lifetime and refrained from poisoning

Your testy grandmother!”… How much of him

Remains in me—even when I am caught

In dreams of death and immortality!

To be eternal—what a brilliant thought!

It must have been conceived and coddled first

By some old shopkeeper in Nuremberg,

His slippers warm, his children amply nursed,

Who, with his lighted meerschaum in his hand,

His nightcap on his head, one summer night

Sat drowsing at his door; and mused: “How grand

If all of this could last beyond a doubt—

This placid moon, this plump gemüthlichkeit;

Pipe, breath and summer never going out—

To vegetate through all eternity….”

But no such everlastingness for me!—

God, if he can, keep me from such a blight.

Death, it is but the long cool night,

And life’s a sad and sultry day.

It darkens; I grow sleepy;

I am weary of the light.

Over my bed a strange tree gleams,

And there a nightingale is loud

She sings of love, love only …

I hear it, even in dreams.

My Mouche, the other day as I lay here,

Slightly propped up upon this mattress-grave

In which I’ve been interred these few eight years,

I saw a dog, a little pampered slave,

Running about and barking. I would have given

Heaven could I have been that dog; to thrive

Like him, so senseless—and so much alive!

And once I called myself a blithe Hellene,

Who am too much in love with life to live.

The shrug is pure Hebraic … for what I’ve been,

A lenient Lord will tax me—and forgive.

Dieu me pardonnera—c’est son métier.

But this is jesting. There are other scandals

You haven’t heard…. Can it be dusk so soon?—

Or is this deeper darkness…? Is that you,

Mother?—how did you come? And are those candles

There on that tree whose golden arms are filled?—

Or are they birds whose white notes glimmer through

The seven branches now that all is stilled?

What—Friday night again and all my songs

Forgotten? Wait … I still can sing—

Sh’ma Yisroel Adonai Elohenu,

Adonai Echod …
Mouche—Mathilde …