Journal Reflection Paper

The last five weeks of my clinical rotation I was able to spend my time at the Marjorie R. Oakley Home for women. This is one of two recovery homes that is administered by The Recovery Group of Southern West Virginia, the other home ran by this organization is the New Beginnings Home for Men. While I spent much of my time with the ladies that stay at the women’s home I was also able to meet a few of the males that was staying at the men home. The recovery home was a type of “group” home created to help provide opportunities for both adult men and women trying to free themselves from the nasty cycle of addiction. The main goal of the homes is to help these individuals to get clean, and avoid relapsing due to addictive environments. The

I overcame my challenge that I had discussed in last weeks Journal by getting more organized. I made a to-do list and stuck to it. I wrote down every assignment due date and every test day on a calendar, so I knew exactly what was due and when. I also made sure to incorporate all meetings for extracurricular activities into my calendar. I got a planner and filled it with all upcoming test dates, assignment due dates, and meetings as well. I also became better at prioritizing and adding flexibility to my daily schedule. I made sure that I prioritized equal study time for all my classes but also added down time into my daily schedule for leisurely activities as well. My grades began to improve after I got more organized and learned to manage

Pastors need mentors, mentees, and true peers. I have enjoyed a long-standing relationship with two pastor colleagues both in very different places in life and ministry. Yet, even from these different places, all three of us share some very basics understandings and needs as we strive to serve the church. Rev. Bev Dempsey and Rev. Nikki Brown Rice are the two selected clergy persons I chose for this connection exercise. All the best plans were intended to email and create a great long thread of emails to turn in. One thing we all have in common is that we are much better face-to-face connections than in email. Therefore, when given the chance to decide to connect through email versus personal conversations, we all agreed on personal conversations.

I know that because I am a poor white female Christian, I see and interact with the world differently than others of a different status. My views differ not only because of what I am, but also where I grew up, which is a small town near the coast of North Carolina. I don't affiliate with a political party, because they all do things they should not. I worry a lot about the condition of the world and all of the countries in it. I worry for the United States of America, because people do not understand that global warming is real and that education is super important for our future. The world is a scary place with there being terrorists, psychos, broken people, innocent people in prisons and the people that are slowly breaking. While globally violence and worst forms of poverty are declining, there still continues to be some.

At the beginning of the semester, I remember worrying about how I was going to be able to teach a group of children without messing up. Public speaking has always been one of my fears; I never liked the idea of standing up in front of a group of people and presenting my work and thoughts. It was never pleasant and I always just wanted to get it done and over with. The night before I taught the children for the first time, I experienced this same fear of public speaking. Sure they were only children, but nonetheless I had to get up in front of a classroom and speak. The biggest challenge about the class was not knowing what to expect, especially the night before the first day I had to teach. It was tough falling asleep that night; all I could think about was the fact that I had to wear a Cat in the Hat costume and teach these children. It was certainly out of my comfort zone. When the morning finally came, I just wanted it to be 10:00 am so I could just get my teaching done and over with. But that was my problem right there. I always wanted to just “get things done and over with”. I needed to learn to make the best of the situation and enjoy what I was doing. Sure enough, 10:00 came and I started off with music with the butterflies. I was nervous but definitely not as nervous as when I had to go and change into my Dr. Suess costume. I learned a lot that day. I learned how important it is to manage my time better while I’m teaching and I learned to have everything set up

On July 12 at 10:46 a.m., I met with my advisor and future livestock judging coach Mr. Ben Williamson. I was very excited to see that my advisor was Mr. Williamson. As I believe we will work well together, and that he will be able to help guide me through these next few years. I was very appreciative of the time he took out of his day to talk with me. First, I briefly introduced myself and talked about my involvement in various activities in high school and agriculture. We then talked about the livestock judging team and what they do. Afterwards, Mr. Williamson proceeded to tell me a little bit about himself. Growing up on a stereotypical midwestern family farm in southwest Ohio, Mr. Williamson has had a great depth of exposure to agriculture. The family farm he grew up on grew grain and primarily raised cattle and hogs. However, his brother had a few goats through 4-H. Concurrently, Mr. Williamson was in 4-H for eleven years. During this time, he showed goats for a year then transitioned to showing cattle and hogs for the rest of his 4-H career. He earned his B.S. degree in animal science at Morehead State University, Kentucky. This is where he met his wife. She was there on softball scholarship and they both lived on the university`s farm. To further his studies, he went to the University of Arkansas for a Master`s in Animal Science with a focus on reproduction, genetics, and technology. Mr. Williamson said that all these agricultural experiences he had during his youth

In a utopia, everyone is portrayed as an accepted character, with no problems and withdraws holding them back in their “perfect society”. Unfortunately, this is not the world we live in today. Reality sucks. Reality is an unfair society with egotistical individuals who only want to better themselves by making everyone feel worse. These selfish characters do not realize that every individual goes through something completely different than they do. Although, they cannot notice, they wear blinders, expecting people to live up to their standards. The pain they cause... Endless neglection, having to improve yourself, these emotions you have to live up to in order to be accepted. I felt them take control, and there was no way I could escape them. I shut down from everyone, and everything.

Everyone has someone they look up to. People come and go, but the impact they leave behind lasts forever. If you asked 10 people what type of person I am, I promise, you will get 10 different answers. I am proud of the man that I am today, but there was a point where I was very lost. I was a loose cannon and had no sense of direction; taking every day as a joke. It was then, when I was 13, a 6’5 335 man, Mr. Corey Swinson, grabbed me and told me I can be anything I wanted. He said I wasn’t like the rest. All I needed was some motivation to get to where I wanted to be. You can only imagine what went on in my head when his large hands were around the back of my neck. He said I wasn’t just another kid in school that wouldn’t amount to much, I was something so much greater. At that moment, I took the first step and enrolled in a private high school, but I still didn’t grasp the full meaning of what he meant. I continued to run around like somebody owed me something. Like I was entitled to things that I had no business being entitled to. On September 10, 2013, everything changed. My mentor passed and the pain was indescribable. The very first person that actually saw potential in me was gone, and I couldn’t do anything about it. But deep down I know what he expected of me. From then on, I started to read more. I started to become inspired. I started to work to perfect my craft. I started to be a dreamer. For many months, I didn’t know what he meant. It only clicked when he was

scraping by, just to give you an idea. So in other words, If I plan to stay in Cali, it probably won't be in Frisco unfortunately!

I am from Congo-Brazzaville and was born and raised there. Now I am a student in the United states and I have been living in Houston for two years now. During my high school in Congo, I used to work hard to always be the best in my class which was the case plenty of time, but not always. In my country, Congo for every high school student in any school at the end of the last year they must pass a national exam which will determine the entry to universities. This exam is named “baccalaureate”, it is written and corrected by the government. The baccalaureate contains seven subjects which are Mathematics, Chemistry, French, History, Biology, English or Spanish, and Gymnastic. A diploma is given for students who succeed. The day for the results is the part I was waiting with impatience.

My largest takeaway from CHP 199 is that I need be more critical and nuanced in the way I view myself and the world around me – to step outside of my glass palace of perfection and superiority. I, like many other people from privileged backgrounds, came into this course believing that I was morally superior to incarcerated people. I now realize that to hold such a view is to paint in overly broad brushstrokes and ignore the contextual factors that lead to imprisonment. I have not committed a violent crime before, but I also have not lived in a poverty-stricken area, do not have an abusive parent, and have not dealt with the anger and desperation that stems from systemic racism. Prior to this course, I knew – in an abstract, theoretical way – that incarceration was a problem in the United States. But attending a panel with formerly incarcerated individuals and reading stories about specific people in Just Mercy gave a human face to the problem. Those experiences forced me to grapple with my preconceived notions of the prison population and form a more compassionate, understanding viewpoint.

Perspectives of how we view the world around us at many points of life can become so obscured that they often become lost and forgotten leading one to live a life with a single perspective--a single story. You see it was a day like any other in the chaotic mess that is the center for the community during dinner hours where hundreds upon hundreds if not thousands of students converge in a swarm echoing clattering noise of conversations, and endless queues wrapping around every little space to eat what most consider to be subpar food. I was sitting alone merely being that weird guy who preferred to read. All the while, I noticed some students horsing around, and in my attention, I saw a full cup of soda which was obviously at some point going to get spilled.

The other thing I completely understood was that I loved teaching and working in a classroom. Unfortunately, it would take a lot longer to get back into one than I had originally planned.

I have a few miscellaneous thoughts going through my head and it is about what we have spoken about in the past few weeks. Acting in an adversary v. mutualistic way. I think the adversary will always be there, it is inevitable with all of our identities and individualism, which some reject, but I doubt anybody can push it completely aside. I think this is bigger than the question of Capitalism v. Communism. Respectively, one renders a society to think individualistic; the other renders a society to think collectively and to thrive for equality and, perhaps from my point of view, a homogeneous society.

During spring break I decided I wanted to go to Nicaragua with an organization called Christian Activity Center. Last year I wanted to practice my Spanish. They also wanted me to practice, and learn more about networking, business, get new experiences, missionary work, and to compete in MMA. That night I remember not sleeping so I could fall asleep on the flight there, but I fell asleep at two in the morning. I was lucky I set an alarm because my mother was catching up on her rest and was tired from helping me pack. I reluctantly rolled over out off of the bed with crust in my eyes. I woke up that day around 4:00 am to drive to Chicago, but first we stopped at the Christian Activity Center which was ten minutes away. I thought the ride to Chicago was not going to be that bad since we rented a van. I sat down and looked back at my mother as she waved goodbye from the other half of the window. Before we made out of East St.louis I was already asleep, the ride took 4 to 5 hours with one stop. Once we arrived in Chicago, my friend shook me awake. As we stepped out of the car we heard the airplane roaring through the sky like thunder in a storm, but slice through the sky like a knife through butter. Once our chaperones paid for the rental car we headed for a bus that would take us to the airport. Once we arrived we had an issue because the company’s policy changed involving carry on luggage, which almost prevented us from getting on the airplane. Before we headed to the line and