Authoritarian Styles Of Parenting Styles

(Baumrind 1966). I have come to realize that my parents and grandparents had this same parenting style. I have realized that I am repeating the cycle and I must break the cycle because if I do not them my children will continue this same cycle as an authoritarian parent instead of an authoritative parent. I would never want to be a permissive parent. This parenting style you are not teaching your children structure. “There are not held accountable for their actions”. (Coon & Mitterer, 2016). As parents we must teach our children there are consequences for our actions. If you do not apply any boundaries or rules as they get older they will feel like the rules do not apply to them. “Permissive parents will cause their children to be dependent, immature, and misbehave frequently.” (Coon & Mitterer, 2016). I believe some parents are like this because they want to be their child’s friend. It is okay to be their friend but there must be some type of guidelines in place.

The parent allows the child to regulate his or herself as much as possible and if expectations are not met punishments rarely follow. Also the little rules and regulation as well as everything else is thoroughly explained and discussed with the child. Overall if the child disagrees, he/she is often accommodated and given what they want (Dewar, 2014). Located roughly in the middle of these two styles lies authoritative parenting. Authoritative parenting is an even balance of authoritarian and permissive. Authoritative styles have many rules and regulations and overall expectations of the child. Typically, the rules are discussed with the child and if believed to be fair, are negotiable. If expectations have not been met, the child will be spoken to and have the situation explained on how to improve for future events (Gwen Dewar, 2014). Punishments do exist in this style but rather than making the child fear them, they are given punishments to “remember and learn”. As opposed to authoritarians’ the child will be allowed to state his opinion and is given the opportunity to question things.

The four primary parenting styles are Authoritarian, Permissive, Authoritative, and Uninvolved parenting styles. Authoritarian parents are very controlling and strict with their children. They expect obedience form their children and don’t tolerate expressions of disagreement. In contrast, Permissive parents are more relaxed and provide inconsistent feedback. They require little of their children and don’t see themselves as responsible for their children’s behavior. They also don’t set limits or control over their children. Authoritative parents are firm and set clear and consistent limits for their children. While they tend to be strict they show love and emotional support for them as well. These parents tend to reason with their child as to why they should behave a certain way. These parenting styles also encourage the child to be independent. The fourth parenting style is uninvolved parenting style. These parents show interest in their children and display indifferent or rejecting behavior towards them. They detach emotionally and only see themselves as providers of materials goods such as shelter, food, and clothing.

Children do not come with guidelines or instructions. What they do come with is a crucial set of physical and emotional needs that need to be met. To raise children properly, parents duties are not limited to just food, shelter and protection. Parents are largely responsible for their children’s success in life. Parents are required to teach and educate children. They have to shape knowledge and character into their children to prepare them to face the real world. To be successful with this, parents must provide self esteem needs, teach moral and values and provide discipline that is both effective and appropriate. As the generations have changed, many parenting styles have evolved, as well.

* Authoritative parents set clear and consistent limits for children. They are flexible but firm, whichs leads to children who are responsible, cooperative, and self reliant.

The permissive parenting style is one in which the parents care for their child, yet they don’t set rules or discipline their child. This parenting style is high in nurturance and low in maturity demands, control, and communication. According to Joseph Sclafani, a child psychologist,:

Using authoritative parenting style requires setting boundaries while still being able to listen and be patient with the child. Here is an example of the authoritarian parenting style: A child is caught hitting their playmate. The parent responds by grabbing the child and spanking them without any explanation of why hitting is immoral. Thus punishing the child with the same misconduct the child has committed results in mocking of the punishment behavior. Using authoritarian style requires the ability to be dominantly harsh while giving punishment without an explanation.

• Authoritative parenting is attentive to their children’s needs and will typically forgive and teach versus punishment for the child’s short comings. The result is the children have a higher self-esteem and independence. This is most recommended parenting style by experts.

Authoritarian parents normally do not interact with their children in positive ways and usually install fear into the child. Punishment is usually harsh and given without explanation. Children with authoritarian parents are often anxiety- ridden. Studies have shown that these children have lower self- esteem, show high aggressiveness and typically do less well in school. Permissive parenting consists of high nurture and acceptance, but these parents lack structure and control. These parents look at their children as “free spirits” who need space to learn and grow. Permissive parents are usually inconsistent with discipline. Children with permissive parents normally are impulsive and irresponsible. These children also lack any self- control since none was expected (Sclafani 47).

Both permissive, and authoritative parents allow their children to make major life decisions. These parents give their children choices and lets them choose which way to go by themselves. Permissive parents may be more lenient with their options and may allow their children to choose differently if they wish to do so but both parents give the child the option to make their own choice. By allowing the children to make their own decisions, it gives them a sense of independence which will often pay off in the future. These children often grow up to be good decision makers when they are all grown up.

Authoritative parents “set standards, but also give their child choices. They recognize the good things that their child does, but they do not overlook the bad things. These parents are more confident and nurturing. They set standards that their child can meet. Usually, this type of parenting leads to a positive self-image in the child (Black, 2008). Permissive parents “do not control their children, it is more like the other way around. There is no discipline, and the child grows up knowing they can get whatever they want. When the parent does try to discipline, the child doesn't take it seriously. These parents give in easily and avoid confrontation whenever possible” (Black, 2008). In general American parents raise their children to have an individual personality, and to be independent from a very young age. “Firm disciplines are directed toward the infant and these are gradually relaxed as the child grows” (Suzuki, 2000).

The primary focal point of the authoritarian style is on respect rather than parent-child relationships. Authoritarian parents are known for being strict. They lay out rules and expect their children to follow them without question, even if the child has a valid reason for questioning a decision. They establish many rules for the household and leave little or no room for negotiation on policies. Authoritarian parents also fail to explain why the rules exist because they believe that, as the parent, they are the authority on all decisions and shouldn’t be questioned.

The second group is called permissive parenting. Permissive parents give up most control and rules to their children. In contrast of authoritative parents, they permit their children to do anything children like. These parents want to bring their children freedom. They want their children to develop in the free ways. They do not set any rules and routines in their children’s lives. While authoritative parents do not provide children with choices, permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the children are not able to make good choices. These parents accept with all their children’s behavior, good or bad, and permit their children develop in the ways their children like. Permissive parents want to bring their children warmness and love, and they never scold or punish their children. However, like authoritative parenting, permissive parenting sometimes is not good for children. Children do things in the wrong ways and this can bring them danger; however, there is no advice from parents to put them in the right ways. These parenting style can bring children and people around them danger.

The authoritative parenting style is the “In between,” of both the authoritarian and permissive parenting styles, and has a “Give and take approach.” Authoritative parents are very involved in their children’s lives: children help around the home and in decision-making processes, and homework is supervised. This approach to parenting raises children who are responsible, well behaved in school, have a high self-esteem, and good problem solving skills along with decision making skills. The authoritative approach to parenting has very positive effects on children’s lives presently, and in the future. (Marsiglia, C.,Walczyk, J., Buboltz, W., Ross, D. 2007).

In authoritative parenting style, there is a mutual respect between the child and the parent. There is also negotiation and dialogue involved. The parent