Analysis of Grief: An Examination of Wolterstorff’s Reflections and the Five Stages of Grief
Introduction
Death is inevitable. Death is unforeseeable. Death is unknown. One of the most difficult aspects of life is the prospect of death. In Lament for A Son, Wolterstorff reflects on the agony and lamentation of losing his son in a tragic accident (Wolterstorff, 1987). He explains the grief and pain associated with the death of someone close (Wolterstorff, 1987). One of the main themes present is the premature death of the author’s son, which alludes to the five stages of grief (Wolterstorff, 1987) (Kübler-Ross, 1972). The last stage is the stage of acceptance (Kübler-Ross, 1972). Death is possibly one of the most difficult things to accept and understand. Through the analysis of Wolterstorff’s Lament for a Son, this paper will attempt to understand finding joy in loss, the meaning of death in the light of the Christian narrative, and the role of hope in the resurrection.
Joy in Loss In the story, the narrator, who is the author, struggles with knowing that his son died. He finds no joy and no consolation (Wolterstorff, 1987). He must fly across the ocean in order to claim his son’s body in order to bury him (Wolterstorff, 1987). No parent should bury their child is something the author heartily believes. He draws parallels of placing his son in a cradle as he places him in the coffin (Wolterstorff, 1987). This is hard for him because he only sees the darkness and cannot find God in such darkness.
Stages of Grief With a different perspective, analyzing the author’s grief will be easier. There are five stages of grief, according to Kubler-Ross’s model (Kübler-Ross, 1972). It begins with stage of denial. This can be seen in the author’s writing, that the author cannot accept the fact that his healthy, young child has died (Kübler-Ross, 1972). The next stage to follow is Anger which is seen in the fact that the author believes no parent should bury their child. The third stage is bargaining (Kübler-Ross, 1972). The author tries to reason through his thoughts with God in the hopes of having his son back even though there is no possible way that can happen. The fourth is depression which is seen in the darkness
Write a 750-1,000 word paper analyzing Woterstorff’s reflctions in Lament For a Son. In addition, address Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief, as they are expressed throughout Lament for a Son, and respond to the following questions:
Since the start of time, and the preceding generations, death has impacted people and the way they act. A sudden, or even an expected death of a loved one, takes a toll on a person. It’s human nature for people to process and want to make sense of death and the loss it leaves behind. The five stages of grief reflect this process of dealing with the loss of a loved one. Through these stage of grieving, people can get lost either searching for answers or trying to get past it. In Hamlet, William Shakespeare depicts the role human nature plays in the striving for answers and justice surrounding death. Even though Hamlet was written early in the seventeenth century, the depiction of death and human nature still rings true today; people and
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The grieving that individuals experience with death is unique, but the main stages are universal across cultures (Axelrod, 2017). There are five stages of grief. Nicolas Wolterstorff’s story, Lament for a Son, addresses these five stages as he tries to find joy after the loss of his son. The meaning and significance of death in light of the Christian narrative is also addressed in the story. Having a hope of the resurrection can help comfort individuals in situations similar to Wolterstorff (Wolterstorff, 1978).
The book, Lament For a Son, written by Nicholas Wolterstorff talks about his pain and grief after losing his 25-year-old son (Joy, 2009). His son died while on a mountain-climbing expedition. Dr. Wolterstorff has several books published during his career as a philosophical theology professor in Yale Divinity. However, he wrote Lament for a Son with a different journal style since it is a personal thing for him. The book is similar to a journal as he narrates the events that happened before and after his son’s death. The emotions expressed in the book are common among people who lose close relatives. What matters is how a person handles the issue. Kubler-Ross invented the five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptancethat explain the escalation of grief when stricken by bad news (Axelrod, 2004). The paper looks into the book and its relation to the five stages of grief.
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In her seminal work on grief and grieving, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross introduced the concept now very well known as the Five (5) Stages of Grief, enumerated chronologically as follows: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In this concept, Kubler-Ross explored and discussed the normative stages that people go through when they experience the loss of a loved one and feel grief as result of this loss. It is also through these stages that people are now more aware of their feelings and thoughts when experiencing grief and the loss of a loved one. While the stages of loss are mainly developed for grief experienced with the death of a loved one, it is a generally accepted framework in understanding feelings of grief when an individual experiences the loss of a significant individual in his/her life. The discussions that follow center on the discussion of Kubler-Ross' 5 Stages of Grief, applied in the context of the Story of Job in the Bible.
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This essay explores several models and theories that discuss the complexities of loss and grief. A discussion of the tasks, reactions and understanding of grief through the different stages from infants to the elderly, will also be attempted.
Anticipated responses for the child and her father might very different. The child may cope by acting out, being emotionally dysregulated, having eating or sleep disturbances, brooding or withdrawing, being restless or unable to be still, taking on too much responsibility or developmentally, emotionally and physically, regressing (Bugge, Darbyshire, Røkholt, Haugstvedt, & Helseth, 2014). The child who witnesses a death may be afraid they or another family member will die in the same way. They may also be actively avoiding painful memories or suppressing their needs being afraid to cause more trouble (Bugge, et al., 2014). The process of grieving is complicated by the tasks of the developmental stage that child is going through, the relationship with the deceased, their coping skills including support systems, and the circumstances of the death (Slyter, 2012). She is in Erikson’s stage of Industry versus Inferiority, so the clinician might see her express the thought that she has done something wrong that caused her mother’s death.
Take them to the King, they don’t have much to bring, their heart is torn in pieces, it’s their offering. (Franklin, Martin, 2012) The death of a loved one can spark a lot of emotions that is difficult to explain. This is felt by everybody and most times it can take years to begin healing when death has happened. Discussing death and being prepared for that moment is not what people want to do, but it is what we must do. Having the right thing to say at the right time can make a difference to a person in mourning. Grief is experienced in many ways through the five stages, grieving and the after